This brutal section is finally live! 🎉

Contact Section Now Live: Send Us Your Thoughts!

Date: Wednesday, January 08, 2025, 6 PM EST

Hey there, fellow readers!

We’re pleased to announce that our contact section is now operational! Yes, you can finally send us your thoughts, feedback, or even a polite "hello!" Just remember, if you mean, I be mean back. 😉

What’s New?

• Message Sending: You can now reach out directly through our website. Whether it’s a question about your favorite novel or a suggestion for improvement, we want to hear from you!

  • Just think of us as your literary therapists—no couch required!

• User-Nightmare Interface: We’ve made it super hard to send messages. Just fill out the form, hit send, and voilà! Your message is destroyed faster than you can say “I should have read the instructions.”

Important Reminder

Now, before you get too carried away with your genius idea of spamming messages, I got backup: you can only submit a message once every 24 hours. Yes, I know—it's like waiting for your favorite show to come back after a cliffhanger. This isn’t a punishment; it’s my way of keeping spam at bay and ensuring I have time to actually read the insults you send me.

Why You Should(Not) Reach Out

• I Hate Feedback: Seriously, I hate it. Your input helps me have darker thoughts and question existence. So if you have something to say, don’t send it—unless it's about pineapple on pizza. That’s a good thing to send.

• Curiosity is Key: Got a burning question? Please hesitate! I'm here to help you build up on your questions until you begin questioning life! (or at least entertaining guesses). If you send a question, I might answer it, or not!

• Don't Join the Conversation: Don't be part of our community! Don't share your thoughts and don't chat about all things books. Just remember: spoil everything unless you want to be publicly shamed!

"Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words." - Mark Twain

So go ahead, fill out that contact form and let us know what’s on your mind. You will all be the perfect text specimens to test out this page, which is in its beta version, should have probably mentioned that earlier.

Cheers, Allen Fried(Non-Hack)

P.S. If you send me a message about how much of a hack Allen Knet is, I might just send you a virtual high-five! 🖐️ And if you like Allen Knet... well, I’ll still respond but with less enthusiasm.