A FriedReads Celebration of Freedom, Schadenfreude, and the Joy of Never Going Back

September 2026

School started.

I'm not there.

I've never been happier.

I woke up at 11 AM. The kids were already in class. I laughed so hard I woke up the dog.

I made coffee. I sat on my couch. I scrolled through social media. I saw the photos. The first day of school photos. The smiling faces. The brand new backpacks. The parents pretending they're not crying tears of joy.

And I laughed. I laughed and I laughed and I laughed.

To all the kids going back to school:

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

They're Suffering. I'm Thriving.

Let me paint you a picture.

Their Morning:

• 6 AM. Alarm blares. They groan. They drag themselves out of bed.
• They rush to get ready. They eat a quick breakfast. They grab their backpack.
• They run to catch the bus. They're already exhausted.
• They sit in a classroom. They stare at a whiteboard. They try to stay awake.
• They're trapped. They're miserable. They're counting down the minutes until they're free.

  My Morning:

• 11 AM. I wake up naturally. No alarm. No stress. No rush.
• I make coffee. I take my time. I enjoy the quiet.
• I sit on my couch. I open my laptop. I start writing.
• I'm free. I'm happy. I'm doing exactly what I want to do.

  We are not the same.

  They're sitting in a classroom. I'm sitting on my couch. The difference is staggering.

  They're stressed about exams. I'm stressed about whether to have chips or cookies for lunch.

  Life is hard. For them. Not for me.

  HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

  ---

I Learned Nothing in School. And I Mean NOTHING.

Let me be serious for a second.

I went to school. I did the work. I passed the classes. I got the grades. I did everything I was supposed to do.

And you know what I learned?

NOTHING.

LITERALLY NOTHING.

I'm serious. Nothing I learned in school is helping me right now. Nothing. Not a single thing.

I'm not using algebra. I'm not using chemistry. I'm not using history. I'm not using any of it.

The stuff I actually use? I learned it outside of school. On my own. From YouTube. From reading. From trial and error. From actually living life.

School was a waste of time. A massive, expensive, soul-crushing waste of time.

I sat in classrooms for years. I memorized facts I'd forget the next day. I studied for tests that didn't matter. I stressed about grades that wouldn't matter in five years.

And for what? So I could get a piece of paper that says I'm qualified to do something I could have learned in six months on the job?

The whole system is a joke.

And the kids are still going through it.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

The Good Moments (Fine, There Were a Few)

Okay, fine. I'll admit it. There were good moments.

Not many. But some.

I remember laughing with friends in the hallway. I remember the feeling of finishing a big project. I remember the last day of school. The relief. The freedom. The joy of knowing summer was finally here.

I remember the chaos of it all. The weirdness. The shared suffering. The feeling of being in it together.

There were moments. Fleeting moments. Moments I look back on and smile.

But here's the thing: those moments weren't because of school. They happened despite school.

The good moments were the ones where I wasn't doing school stuff. They were the moments in between. The moments of connection. The moments of escape.

School didn't give me those moments. It just got in the way of them.

And now? Now I don't need school to have good moments. I have good moments every day. Because I'm free.

And the kids are still stuck in it.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

Everything You Learn in School Is Useless

Let me go through the list.

Algebra: When was the last time you solved for X in real life? Never. That's when.

Chemistry: When was the last time you needed to balance a chemical equation? Never.

History: When was the last time you needed to remember the date of a war? Never.

Literature: When was the last time you needed to analyze a poem? Never.

Science: When was the last time you needed to know the parts of a cell? Never.

Every single thing they teach you in school is useless. Every single subject. Every single lesson. Every single assignment.

You'll never use any of it. You'll forget it all. You'll spend years of your life learning things that don't matter.

The only thing you'll learn in school is how to follow rules. How to do what you're told. How to fit into a system that doesn't care about you.

That's the real lesson. And it's a terrible lesson.

And the kids are still learning it.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

The Real Learning Happens Outside

Everything I know, I learned outside of school.

I learned how to write by writing. I learned how to think by thinking. I learned how to be a person by living.

I learned how to communicate by talking to people. I learned how to solve problems by facing them. I learned how to figure things out by trying and failing.

School didn't teach me any of that.

I'm successful now. I'm writing articles. I'm building a career. I'm doing what I love. And I didn't need a degree to do any of it.

I needed curiosity. I needed persistence. I needed the freedom to explore and fail and try again.

School doesn't give you that. School gives you a syllabus. A schedule. A set of rules you have to follow.

And the kids are still stuck in it.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

I Look Back and I Hate It

I look back at my time in school. I think about all the hours I wasted. All the stress I felt. All the pressure I endured. All for nothing.

I don't miss it. I don't miss any of it.

I don't miss the early mornings. I don't miss the boring lectures. I don't miss the pointless assignments. I don't miss the tests. I don't miss the anxiety. I don't miss any of it.

There are moments I look back on and smile. But those moments are few. And they're not enough to make me want to go back. Not even close.

I'm free. I'm happy. I'm doing what I love.

And the kids are still suffering.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

I'm Not Going Back. And Neither Should You.

To all the kids going back to school: I'm sorry. I really am. But also... HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

I'm not going back. I'm never going back. I'm free. And it feels amazing.

Maybe you'll escape someday. Maybe you'll get out. Maybe you'll find a way to live without the system.

But not today. Today you're in school. Today you're stuck. Today you're suffering.

And I'm laughing.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

The Final Line

School started. I'm not there. And I'm never going back.

I'm laughing at all the kids who have to go to school. And I'm never going to stop.

Life is good. School is bad. The math is simple.

To all the kids going back to school:

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

🏫😭😂

Allen FriedReads.com | Free. Happy. Never going back. September 2026