A blistering, unhinged manifesto arguing that social media addiction has turned democracy into a dumpster fire of misinformation, and the only cure is disenfranchising the terminally online. Spoiler: Your memes are killing democracy.

"Social Media Users Should Be Banned From Voting (Stupidity is a Pandemic)"

How Your TikTok Addiction is the Real Threat to Democracy

Trigger Warning: This article contains sarcasm, data, and zero tolerance for your conspiracy theories. If your news diet is “Instagram infographics vs. Reddit rants,” log off and read a book. 📱💥

I. Introduction: The Ballot Box is Full of Clowns

Let’s cut through the algorithmic fog: social media users are democracy’s patient zero. They’ll fact-check their horoscope but vote for a candidate because “their meme game is fire.” Meanwhile, AI-generated deepfakes of Trump wading through hurricanes and WhatsApp rumors about “voter fraud” spread faster than common sense.

"Democracy dies in darkness… and also in group chats where Aunt Karen shares QAnon fanfic." 🔥🗳️

II. The Case for Voter Suppression (For Their Own Good)

A. The Misinformation Epidemic

• Fact: 65% of social media users can’t distinguish AI-generated lies from reality.
• Fact: WhatsApp rumors in India improved partisan loyalty but cratered group decision-making.
• Solution: Ban voters who think “doing their own research” means watching TikTok slideshows.

"If you get your politics from memes, you’re not a citizen-you’re a lab rat." 🐀📱

B. The Literacy Test Redux

• History: Southern U.S. states used literacy tests to disenfranchise Black voters.
• Modern Twist: Ban voters who failed the “Spot the Deepfake” quiz. Progress!
• Irony: Texas now bans minors from social media but lets their parents vote based on Facebook conspiracies.

"The 19th Amendment didn’t account for the 21st-century brain rot." 📜🧠

III. The Data Doesn’t Lie (But Your Feed Does)

A. The Harvard Study: WhatsApp ‘Facts’ vs. Reality

• Finding: Indian voters in WhatsApp groups became more partisan but worse at group decisions.
• Translation: Social media turns moderates into zealots and zealots into liabilities.

B. The Texas Experiment: Ban Kids, Not Idiots

• Law: Texas bans minors from social media to “protect mental health”.
• Loophole: Adults can still post “Biden is a lizard” theories. Priorities!

"Texas would rather your kid touch grass than touch reality." 🌾🤖

IV. How to Save Democracy (A Satirical Step-by-Step Guide)

1. Phase 1: Replace polling stations with TikTok filters. “Smile to vote!”
2. Phase 2: Require voters to pass a “critical thinking” test. Sample question: “Is the moon real?”
3. Phase 3: Automate elections via ChatGPT. “The algorithm has chosen… let’s riot!”

"Democracy is overrated. Let’s outsource it to Netflix’s recommendation engine." 🎬🗳️

V. The Real Disease (Hint: It’s Not the Voters)

Final Truth Bomb: 💣
“Banning social media users from voting isn’t the answer-but neither is letting Mark Zuckerberg run a democracy simulator.”

Subtext: Misinformation, algorithmic rage, and profit-driven platforms have eroded civic discourse. The solution isn’t disenfranchisement-it’s teaching media literacy and breaking up tech monopolies.

Call to Action:
Delete your apps. Read a newspaper. Vote locally. And for God’s sake, stop sharing memes from bots. 📰🚫

Post-Script 📜🔍

“To be clear: This isn’t about banning voters-it’s about banning the systems that profit from their stupidity. Now go protest a data center.”

Follow Me on Twitter 🐦✨ @Allen_Fried for more spicy takes on why extinction is a vibe!