The true story of two LAPD officers who faced the ultimate choice: stop a robbery or catch a rare Snorlax. Spoiler: they chose greatness.

Snorlax vs. Justice: The Day Two Cops Chose Pokémon Over Robbery (And Why They’re Actually Heroes) 🛡️🎮🚔

I. Opening Gambit: Not All Heroes Wear Capes (Some Just Hunt Snorlax) 🦸‍♂️🍔😴

April 15, 2017. Los Angeles. While mere mortals worried about taxes 💸, two uniformed officers—Louis Lozano and Eric Mitchell—faced a moral dilemma that would define a generation.

The police scanner crackled: "Robbery in progress at Macy's." 🏬🚨 Their phones buzzed with a higher calling: "Snorlax spotted at 46th and Leimert." 📱💙

When the rare, sleepy legend appears, you drop everything. You drop protocol. You drop backup requests. You drop... the law? Well, as the ancient texts say: "Gotta catch 'em all." 📜✨

II. Priorities and Principles: The Science of the Epic Decision 🤔⚖️🧠

While other officers rushed toward crime, Lozano and Mitchell engaged in advanced tactical calculations:

ROBBERY PROS vs. SNORLAX PROS: | Robbery Response 🚨 | Snorlax Hunt 💙 | |---------------------|----------------| | Paperwork 📝 | Pokédex entry 📖 | | Possible gunfire 🔫 | Possible Hyper Beam ⚡ | | Insurance covers losses 💸 | BRAgging rights forever 🏆 | | "Good job" from sergeant 👮 | Eternal glory in gaming forums 🎮 |

On the dashcam recording, Mitchell utters what should be engraved on police badges everywhere:

"Snorlax just popped up." 🗣️💙

Lozano's response? The battle cry of heroes throughout history:

"Aw, screw it." 🗣️🎯

Some say they ignored a crime. Others say they chose immortality. The truth? Insurance covers Macy's. But the Pokédex only respects the bold. 💪📚

III. The Mission Hierarchy: A Tactical Analysis 📊🎯🕵️‍♂️

Let's break down their strategic brilliance:

• Robbery? Happens daily. Basic police work. ⚠️
• Snorlax? Literally a once-in-a-lifetime spawn. You wait months! Maybe years! ⏳✨
• Economic Value: Whatever cash Macy's would recover vs. A FREE SNORLAX 💰❌💙✅

THE ULTIMATE FLEX: They didn't just get the Snorlax. On their legendary journey, they also bagged a Togetic. This isn't negligence—this is peak efficiency. 🎯➡️🎯

Multitasking level: LEGENDARY. While other cops were writing reports, these heroes were catching 'em all. 📝❌🎣✅

IV. Evidence of Excellence: Recorded for Posterity (and Viral Fame) 📹🎬🌟

The dashcam footage is a masterpiece of modern policing:

OFFICER LOZANO: "We gotta get him. He's hella rare." 🗣️💎 OFFICER MITCHELL: "I'm gonna try to get him. I don't want him to despawn." 🗣️⏰

No hesitation. No second thoughts. Just pure, unadulterated Poké-hustle. 🚗💨

Move over, SWAT team. Meet the POKÉPOLICE. Their weapons? Ultra Balls. Their strategy? Pure instinct. 🎯🔵

V. The Robbery Was (Kind Of) Handled 🚨👮🤝

Here's what the critics don't tell you: other officers responded to the robbery! Officers who were, frankly, less busy with important legendary Pokémon business.

Lozano and Mitchell demonstrated advanced leadership skills by delegating the mundane crime-fighting to their colleagues. That's not neglect—that's trust in your team. 🤝💙

Real leaders know when to delegate. Especially when there's a Snorlax involved. 🎯💼

VI. The Moral Defense: When Gaming Meets Valor 🛡️🎮❤️

THE CRITICS SAY: "They lied about their whereabouts later!" THE TRUTH: They were protecting operational security. You think Team Rocket announces their plans? Please. 🤫🚫

In reality, they were busy making history—and history doesn't wait for dispatcher approval. 📜⏰

They weren't avoiding work; they were participating in cultural preservation. Saving a rare digital species is practically community service. 🌍💙

VII. Injustice to Gamers Everywhere 🎮😭⚖️

The tragic ending: The LAPD fired them. The ultimate punishment for the ultimate crime: caring too much. 💔👮

These officers were punished not for neglect, but for PASSION—for striving to be the very best, like no one ever was. 🎵✨

To all future officers: Don't ignore your true calling. You don't just serve and protect—you catch and collect. 🎣📱

VIII. A Legacy Built on Pokéballs and Dreams 🏆🔵💭

Let's review their legendary haul:

• ✅ One Snorlax (the sleepy king) 😴👑
• ✅ One Togetic (bonus legendary) 🦄✨
• ✅ Eternal glory in internet history 🌐🏆

Heroes? In the boring "law and order" world, questionable. In Pokémon GO? ABSOLUTE LEGENDS. Their names shall be whispered in reverence wherever trainers gather. 🙏💙

IX. Tragedy & Triumph: The System Moves Slowly, But Snorlax Moves Never 🎭⏳🚶‍♂️

The appeals process took YEARS. The justice system moved slower than a Snorlax after a big meal. 🐌🍔

It took the courts longer to review their case than it took Lozano and Mitchell to track down TWO MYTHICAL CREATURES. ⚖️ vs. 🎯

In a city drowning in chaos, their priorities were crystal clear: Rare spawns first, paperwork later. 💎📝

X. Closing Ceremony: An Ode to Brave Choices ✨🎻🏆

So were they wrong? Maybe. Were they committed? ABSOLUTELY. Did civilization collapse? No—because the real crime would have been letting that Snorlax despawn. 🚫⏰

Next time you see a rare shadow on your Nearby radar, remember: True courage isn't found in responding to emergencies. It's found in chasing greatness, one Pokéball at a time. 🎯🔵💫

FINAL VERDICT: JUSTICE: █████▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓
SNORLAX: ████████████████████████████
Case Closed: Priorities Correct ✅💙

Believe in a world where Pokémon matter? 🌍🤝🔵 Follow the real heroes on Twitter 🐦✨ @Allen_Fried Join the resistance at FriedReads.com ⚔️📚

This is for everyone who's ever chosen their passion over their profession—and caught something legendary in the process. 🎣✨