A Modest Proposal to End Online Harassment: Public Flogging Streams on Twitch
Trolls get live-streamed whippings. Viewers tip for extra lashes via Superchat. This is the next step.
A Modest Proposal to End Online Harassment: Public Flogging Streams on Twitch
Trolls get live-streamed whippings. Viewers tip for extra lashes via Superchat. This isn't satire—it's the logical next step in our descent.
Trigger Warning: This article contains zero hope, maximum cynicism, and the uncomfortable truth that you are part of the problem. If you've ever typed "L + ratio," prepare to see your life's work. ⛓️🎬
Let’s cut to it
We’ve tried the blue-ribbon panels. The “community guidelines.” The bot content moderators that can spot a nipple from three miles away but somehow miss “I will screw your corpse.” We’ve permabanned accounts that respawn like digital cockroaches before the “signed out” screen even fades.
Online harassment isn’t a bug. It’s the main feature. It’s the engine of engagement. Every death threat, every racist dogpile, every piece of creatively spelled abuse is a data point proving we’re watching, we’re reacting, we’re alive.
So let’s stop pretending we want it to stop. Let’s stop building digital bandaids for a cultural hemorrhage. Let’s be honest, efficient, and profitable about it.
I propose we stream the consequences on Twitch.
Not bans. Not time-outs. Public floggings.
Viewers tip bits for extra lashes. The troll gets fame, the platform gets a cut, and we all get the cathartic, high-definition justice porn we’re already craving. We’re just cutting out the middleman of plausible deniability.
I. The Problem: “Words Are Violence” Is Peak Clown World 🤡
Let’s tour the Hall of Shame, our current arsenal of “solutions”:
- Twitter/X Suspensions: A 72-hour vacation. They come back with a new edgier handle and 10% more followers for being “censored.”
- Reddit Permabans: You need a new email. It takes 47 seconds. The punishment is a mild inconvenience, like forgetting your phone charger.
- YouTube Strikes: Demonetized! Oh no! Anyway, the video with 2 million views and 50,000 comments calling the creator a pedophile is still up, algorithmically recommended to children.
- Doxxing & Swatting: The platform’s response is a “Trust & Safety” email thread that moves slower than continental drift. The police might send a strongly worded letter. To the victim. Asking if they’d like to press charges. From three states away.
Rant 1: The Moderation Theater We’re spending billions training AI to have the moral sensitivity of a suburban HOA president. It will flag a slur from 2009 but completely miss the guy livestreaming his plan to shoot up a school because he used a euphemism for “bullet.” We have systems sophisticated enough to detect a copyrighted song played for 0.3 seconds in the background of a VOD, but the concept of “credible threat” might as well be astrophysics.
It’s security theater. It’s a digital pacifier. It lets the platforms say “Look! We’re Doing Something!” while the sewage pipe of human malice bursts directly onto our timelines.
Rant 2: The Real Crime is Boredom You think trolls fear a ban? They crave it. A ban is a badge of honor. It’s proof they got under the skin of The Machine. It’s free marketing. “Banned in 12 Countries!” is a better sales pitch than any ad copy.
Andrew Tate didn’t get cancelled by his bans; he got amplified. He built a pyramid scheme on the back of his own “martyrdom.” The punishment became the product.
Trolls aren’t sociopaths (well, not all of them). They’re just the most honest performers in a marketplace where attention is the only currency that matters. And we are all willing buyers.
The MrBeast Tease (Because Of Course) Think about it. We will happily watch a man sit in a room for 60 days, or submerge himself in ice, or eat nothing but ghost peppers for a week—all for the chance at money. We donate nothing but our eyeballs. His suffering is our entertainment. His pain is the product.
A troll is just a less-athletic MrBeast contestant. Their challenge? “How much psychic damage can I inflict before the audience turns on me?” The prize? The same as his: fame, a following, a career built on the spectacle of endurance.
We’ve already monetized suffering. We just haven’t applied an honest pricing model to malice.
II. The Proposal: Twitch Floggings – A Full System Design 🏛️💰
Welcome to Twitch Justice, the 24/7 channel where consequences get a subscriber button.
Core Mechanics:
- The Studio: Three soundproofed booths with green-screen pillories. Streamlined, sanitized, sponsor-friendly.
- The Talent: Professional “Lashers” (union pending). Different styles: Traditionalist (cat-o’-nine-tails), Modernist (carbon-fiber tactical whip), Vegan (stinging nettle bundle).
- The Talent (The Other Kind): Verified, convicted online harassers. They sign a waiver. In exchange for taking their lashings, they get 70% of the stream’s net revenue and a verified “Justice Served” badge on their main account. It’s a career pivot.
The Superchat Lash Tier List (Because Everything Is A Microtransaction Now):
Price Point The Package Emote $5 "The Baby's First Apology" – One solid lash. A love tap. A warning shot across the bow of their soul. 😿 $25 "Serious Reflection" – Three lashes. The pain starts to converse with the nervous system. 😣 $100 "The Poggers Special" – Seven lashes + spin the “Emote Wheel.” Land on PogChamp? Extra force. Kappa? Whip gets replaced with a damp pool noodle. It’s gambling! 😈 $500 "Personalized Regret" – Fifteen lashes. The Lasher reads your custom message aloud before each strike. “This one is from Sarah, whose Instagram DMs you filled with rape threats. She says hi.” 💀 $5,000+ "WhipMaster General" – You get to voice-activate a lash via a special soundboard clip. You get a permanent, site-wide emote of the troll’s contorted face. You are a patron of the arts. 👑 Production Values:
- Overlay: A sleek HP bar depletes with each strike. A “PAIN METER” graphic spikes into the red. A “WEAK SCREAM” graphic flashes if they whimper.
- Sponsor Integration: “This flogging segment is brought to you by RAID: SHADOW LEGENDS. Summon your champions, just like Chad here summoned his inner demons to tell a trans teen to kill herself. Use code JUSTICE for 10% off your first purchase of Epic Souls!”
- Post-Show: The offender must read a 500-word “reflection essay” written by an AI trained on LinkedIn influencer posts. “Today, I learned that my words have impact. I am on a journey. The lash is my teacher.” The chat votes on delivery: Sincere or Sarcastic.
The Legal Fine Print (Displayed at all times, 4pt font):
“By participating, the Offender voluntarily consents to corporal punishment for clout. All medical care (basic first aid) is provided. Risk of permanent scarring, psychological break, or accidental martyrdom is assumed by the participant. Viewer discretion is advised. This is a comedy channel.”
The genius is in the details. The emotes, the overlays, the sponsor reads—they normalize it. They make brutality a product feature. Just like every other app on your phone.
III. Why This Actually Works: The Economics of Cruelty 💸
Forget morals. Let’s talk spreadsheets. This isn’t just effective; it’s the most efficient marketplace ever devised for a specific human resource: spite.
Part 1: The Money Printer Goes BRRR
- Platform Cut: 30%. For providing the infrastructure of atonement. Cleaner than ads.
- Troll Cut: 70%. More than any YouTube ad revenue. They turn trauma into tradable fame. Their “FlogTok” highlights get millions of views. They pivot to a “Reformed Villain” podcast, a “Resilience Coach” grift, an OnlyFans showing off the scars. It’s the American Dream.
- Viewer ROI: For $5, you get a tangible, visceral outcome. You are no longer a passive scroller. You are an actor. You funded a consequence. That’s more agency than you’ve felt in years.
Part 2: The MrBeast Reality Check (The Full Rant) Stop. Let’s actually think about MrBeast for a second.
We watch people suffer for his camera. They freeze. They starve. They hold their hand on a car for 70 hours. They are pushed to the absolute brink of human endurance for the chance at money.
And what do we, the audience, give? Nothing. We give our attention. Our time. Our “Wow, crazy!” comments. Our time is the currency that funds the entire circus. His empire is built on the conversion rate of human suffering into watch time.
My flogging stream is just the honest version of that. It removes the pretense of a “challenge” or a “prize.” The transaction is naked:
- MrBeast: “Watch this person suffer for a chance at money (that I get from your views).”
- Twitch Justice: “Pay $5 to watch this person suffer. No prize. Just pain. We all get paid.”
Which one is more ethical? The one that hides the machinery, or the one that shows you the gears?
Part 3: The Perfect Psychological Loop
- For the Troll: They wanted attention. They get it, quantified and monetized. The pain is just the cost of doing business. A stock split on their infamy.
- For the Viewer: It’s schadenfreude, gamified. It’s justice, commodified. It’s the end of helpless rage. You are no longer a victim of the timeline; you are its wrathful god, one Superchat at a time.
- For the Algorithm: It’s pure, uncut engagement. No ambiguity. Every tip, every cheer, every “OMG” in chat is a data point screaming THIS IS WHAT THEY WANT.
Twitch made $100M+ off gambling streams before they half-heartedly banned them. Imagine the revenue when you replace digital slot machines with the oldest, most reliable human vice: watching someone else get hurt.
IV. The Bloody Truth: We Don’t Want It Fixed 🩸
Here is the final, ugly twist of the knife.
My proposal won’t fix online harassment. It would perfect it.
We don’t want a world without cruelty. We want cruelty with better UI. We want it to be fair, to have clear rules, to feel deserved. The rage of the mob isn’t a malfunction; it’s the core appeal. “Cancelling” someone is just public flogging with worse production values and no revenue share for the victim.
We are the audience at the Roman Colosseum, complaining that the lions are inefficient and the gladiators aren’t verified.
- The public execution was the original primetime TV.
- The stockade was a medieval influencer platform.
- “L + Ratio” is a digital whip crack. The dopamine hit is the same.
The Final Revelation: Flogging streams would force us to stare directly at the thing we’ve been building all along: an economy where human suffering—inflicted or endured—is the most valuable commodity. The troll, the viewer, the platform… we’re all just different roles in the same bloody production.
We’ve spent 20 years building a digital world that runs on outrage and pain. I’m just proposing we finally install a proper meter to charge for it.
Call to Action (For the Platforms That Secretly Know This Is Inevitable):
- Twitch: DM me. I have the wireframes. This is your post-gambling, post-hot-tub, post-everything revenue singularity. Call it “Community Accountability Streaming.”
- Elon Musk: Bundle it. X Premium+ now includes “1 Free Remote-Activated Lash per Month” to any user you choose. Finally, a use for the blue checkmark.
- MrBeast: Jimmy. Brother. The challenges are played out. Pick up a cat-o’-nine-tails. The first creator to flog a billionaire for climate change reparations gets 100 million views. I’m dead serious.
We’ve been perfecting the tool for decades. It’s time to admit what it’s for.
Turning schadenfreude into Superchats since 2026,
Allen
FriedReads.com | @Allen_Fried
