Why Is Every Got Talent Winner a Singer? (A Rant)
A FriedReads Scream Into the Void About Golden Buzzers, Sob Stories, and the Death of Variety
Why Is Every Got Talent Winner a Singer? (A Rant) 🎤😤
A FriedReads Scream Into the Void About Golden Buzzers, Sob Stories, and the Death of Variety
July 2026
I just found out the AGT 2025 winner was a singer.
A SINGER.
AGAIN.
And guess what? More emotional shit. More backstory. More tears. More "I've been through so much" nonsense.
FUCK. OFF.
I saw the announcement. I felt something inside me break. I knew it was coming. I always know it's coming. And it still hurts.
I'm writing this because I need to get it out. Because if I don't, I'm going to scream. And my neighbors already think I'm crazy.
So here it is. My rant. My scream into the void. My desperate plea to the universe: STOP GIVING GOLDEN BUZZERS TO SINGERS.
WHY ARE SINGERS EVEN ON THESE SHOWS?
Seriously.
There are already a million singing competitions. The Voice. American Idol. X Factor (RIP). Whatever other show they've invented this year.
Why do they need to be on Got Talent too?
This show was supposed to be different. It was supposed to be about variety. Sword swallowers. Acrobats. Contortionists. Weird people doing weird things that make you go "holy shit."
Instead, we get singers. Singers who don't add anything else to their audition. Singers who just stand there. Sing. Maybe cry a little. And get a golden buzzer.
A singer doesn't add anything. They don't juggle. They don't swallow swords. They don't dance like creepy dolls. They don't do anything except belt a ballad and hope the judges feel something.
And it works. Every. Single. Time.
Meanwhile, someone does something I've never seen before. Something that makes my jaw drop. Something that reminds me why I watch this show.
And they lose. To a fucking singer.
THE EXAMPLE THAT BROKE ME
Let me tell you about the Japanese dance troupe.
They were on Britain's Got Talent. They were creepy. They were weird. They were absolutely unforgettable.
They dressed as dolls. Synchronized horror choreography. A jump scare that literally made the judges scream.
It was ART. It was unique. It was never seen before. Everything about it screamed golden buzzer. Everything.
I was watching, thinking: "This is it. This is the moment. They're going to get it."
The performance ended. The crowd went wild. The judges were speechless. I was losing my mind.
No golden buzzer.
I couldn't believe it. I still can't believe it. How is that NOT a golden buzzer? How?!
But some random singer? With a sad backstory? Belting a ballad? Golden buzzer. Every time.
The judges were screaming. The audience was screaming. I was screaming. But not the golden buzzer.
The Japanese doll dancers were robbed. And I will never forgive the show for it.
WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?
I think I know why. And I hate it.
Reason 1: The Golden Buzzer Isn't About Talent Anymore
It's about emotion. It's about making the judges cry. It's about the backstory. The sad music. The "journey."
The golden buzzer used to be for "this is so incredible I can't believe it." Now it's for "this singer has a sad story and made me feel things."
If you got a golden buzzer, chances are you had a sad story. Not a unique talent.
Reason 2: Singers Sell. Variety Doesn't.
Simon Cowell is a music mogul. He's not a circus promoter. Singers sell records. Sword swallowers don't. Acrobats don't. Creepy Japanese dance troupes don't.
The show isn't about talent. It's about marketing. It's about who can make money. It's about who Simon can sign to his label.
Reason 3: It's Become Predictable
The music cues. The judge shots. The "chicken soup for the soul" feeling. It's all so predictable now.
You know who's getting the golden buzzer before they even open their mouth. The singer with the sad backstory. The one who "just wants to make their family proud." The one who's been "through so much."
It's a formula. And it's boring.
AND THE LIES! THE LIES! THE LIES!
Let's talk about the "unknown singer" bullshit.
Because that's the part that really gets me.
People have literally found out that some of these "unknown" singers were already famous. They were on other talent shows. They performed in the West End. They played Simba in The Lion King.
And they show up on Got Talent pretending to be a struggling artist. A diamond in the rough. A nobody who just needs a chance.
FUCK. OFF.
If you've already been on another show, you don't belong here. If you've already performed in the West End, you're not an "unknown." If you already have a career, you're taking a spot from someone who actually needs the platform.
And the show knows it. They let it happen because it makes good TV. The "surprise" of a "hidden gem." The "wow" factor of someone who can really sing.
It's not a discovery. It's a marketing strategy.
THE REAL VICTIMS
The real victims are the weird ones.
The sword swallowers. The acrobats. The contortionists. The people doing things you've never seen before.
They're not marketable. They don't sell records. They won't make Simon Cowell millions.
So they get ignored. They get brushed aside. They get eliminated in the first round while some singer with a sad story gets a golden buzzer.
And the show pretends it's about talent. About variety. About giving everyone a chance.
It's not. It never was.
THE IRONY
The show is called Got Talent. Not Got Singers.
And yet, the same type of act keeps winning. The same type of act keeps getting the golden buzzer. The same type of act keeps getting pushed to the finals.
Why even have other acts? Why have variety? Why pretend this is about anything except discovering the next big singer?
Just rename the show. Call it "Got Singers 2: The Voice But With More Tears." At least then I'll know what I'm getting into.
THE ONE THING THAT WOULD FIX IT
I have a simple solution.
Ban singers from Got Talent.
Send them to The Voice. Send them to American Idol. Send them to whatever other singing competition exists. Let them compete there.
Keep Got Talent for everything else. The weird. The unexpected. The stuff that makes you go "holy shit."
It's not that hard. Just do it.
I'M DONE. (BUT NOT REALLY.)
I'm so done. I'm done with singers. I'm done with golden buzzer. I'm done with sob stories. I'm done with the same boring formula every season.
But I'll be back. I'll be back for the next season. I'll be back for the next clip. I'll be back for the next weird act that makes me believe again.
And I'll be angry again. Because I know what's coming. A singer. A sob story. A golden buzzer.
And I'll yell at my screen. Again.
Because I'm a glutton for punishment.
THE FINAL LINE
AGT 2025 winner was a singer. A singer. Again. More emotional shit. More tears. More golden buzzer bullshit.
I should have known. I always know. And it always hurts.
The Japanese dance troupe was robbed. The sword swallowers were robbed. The acrobats were robbed. The weird ones were robbed.
And the singer won.
🎤😤
Allen FriedReads.com | Still angry. Still watching. Still screaming. July 2026
