The world’s literally on fire, the oceans are rising, billionaires are building escape pods, and the rest of us are just reorganizing our Spotify playlists. Welcome to absurdism for the age of collapse

Absurdism for Dummies (And the Doomed): How To Laugh at a Dying Planet Without Getting Canceled 🌍🔥🤣

I. The World Is Ending, and Somehow It's a Sitcom 🎭💀📺

Let's set the scene: The planet is literally on fire 🔥, billionaires are building escape pods 🚀, and the rest of us are just curating our Spotify "Apocalypse Bops" playlist. 🎵📻

Humanity's collective response to impending doom looks exactly like Michael Scott hosting a fire drill while the office actually burns. We're recycling one LaCroix can ♻️, feeling virtuous for skipping a plastic straw 🥤, and calling it "saving the world." Meanwhile, oil executives are making more money than a Greek god on a crypto binge. ⛽💰🤴

It's bleak. It's ridiculous. It's peak entertainment. 🍿

That's where absurdism kicks in—the fine art of screaming into the void and discovering the void screams back "SAME" with better comedic timing. 🗣️⬅️🕳️

II. Absurdism 101 for People Who Googled "How To Cope With Doomscrolling" 🪓📖🤔

What is Absurdism? It's the love child of existential despair and bad WiFi. 📡❤️💀 Born from thinkers like Camus and Kierkegaard, but perfected by your friend who tweets "Nothing matters but my iced coffee" at 3 AM. ☕🌃

The core premise: Life has no inherent meaning—and that's actually liberating, because neither does your boss's "Q3 vision board" or that influencer's "healing journey to Bali." 📊❓🏝️

Absurdism says you have two choices:

1. Cry endlessly 😭
2. Laugh until your soul detaches and floats away 😂👻

Reality's falling apart? You may as well develop abs from ironic hysteria. 💪😆

Camus famously said, "One must imagine Sisyphus happy." 🪨😊 Modern translation? "One must imagine Sisyphus shitposting." 🪨📱

III. The Internet: Humanity's Digital Therapy Session and Comedy Club 💻😵‍💫🎪

Every day, the entire planet logs on for what amounts to group therapy with no therapist—just memes, hot takes, and existential dread served fresh before 9 AM. 🕘☕

We've reached the stage where our primary coping mechanism is SpongeBob having a mental breakdown captioned: "Me vibing while civilization collapses." 🧽😩🌆

We live ❤️, we laugh 😂, we doomscroll 📱. It's collective catharsis, radical detachment, and performance art—all while waiting for our Amazon delivery. 📦⏳

But be careful: Laugh too hard and someone will "quote-tweet" moralize you for joking about the end times. Because apparently, even our anxiety needs to be socially acceptable. 🚫🤣📢

IV. Climate Collapse, but Make It Meta 🌡️🧠🎤

Let's be brutally honest: every news headline now reads like a rejected Black Mirror episode. 📰➡️🖥️❌

• Oceans are boiling 🌊🔥
• Billionaires are taking selfies on Mars 🤳🚀
• Politicians tell us to "lower our carbon footprint" 👞 while flying private jets to climate summits ✈️

It's not just tragedy—it's doom theater. Humanity's longest-running dark comedy special. 🎭🍿

Some comedians have started climate comedy tours—because if we can't fix it, we may as well roast it. 🎤🔥

Scientist-turned-comic one-liner: "Enjoying this warm weather? Just wait ten years—it comes with free oceanfront property in Nebraska!" 🌡️😆🌊

It's activism through laughter—because facts don't go viral, but jokes might. 📊❌😂✅

V. The Morality Paradox: Woke, Broke, and Half-Choked 🌈🤐💸

We're living the ultimate paradox: knowing everything and doing nothing. 🧠➡️🙈

Everyone is:

• Exhausted 😴
• Morally conflicted ⚖️
• Performatively guilty 🎭
• Still rewatching Friends for the tenth time 📺➡️10️⃣

You donate $5 to save the rainforest 🌳💵 and then order 4-day shipping from Shein. 📦⏩ Absurdism doesn't shame that contradiction—it embraces it. 🤗

Humans are irrational, inconsistent, profoundly silly little creatures trying to moralize in a collapsing simulation. 🎮🤖

At least we do it stylishly. 💅

VI. Survival Guide: Laughing at Doom Without Being Canceled 🤣🫡🎯

How to Stay Sane & Employed During Armageddon™:

1. Punch up, not down. 🥊⬆️

   • Jokes about billionaires in rockets? Perfect. 🚀😂
   • Jokes about frontline workers? You're the villain now. 😈❌

2. Don't lose empathy. ❤️

   • Humor should elevate the absurd, not erase the pain. 😂➡️📈 | 😂➡️😢

3. Make your laughter radical. 😆⚔️

   • Defiance disguised as chuckles.

4. Cancel your nihilism subscription. 🚫😞

   • Absurdists don't despair—they dance barefoot through the ashes. 💃🔥

5. Remember: irony is gasoline—great in small doses, explosive in chaos. ⛽💥

Because absurdism isn't denial. It's weaponized clarity. It's acknowledging the horror, then laughing anyway. 🗡️👁️😂

VII. The Beauty in the Breakdown 🌌🖤✨

Here's the plot twist nobody sees coming: Absurdism isn't cynical. It's a love letter to existence, written from the perspective of cosmic absurdity. 💌❤️🌌

If life has no inherent meaning, then everything has equal meaning—every laugh, every tear, every recycled can, every bad day you survived anyway. ⚖️😂😭♻️☀️

We find gratitude not because life's beautiful, but because it's stupidly persistent. 🙏🤦‍♀️💪

Maybe that's the heart of this whole comedy: the fact that we keep loving, sharing, and meme-making even as the clock runs out. The universe may not care—but somehow, we still do. ❤️📱⏰

VIII. The Final Act: Laugh Loud Before the Curtain Falls 🎭🌠📢

So laugh hard. Laugh sincerely. Laugh because the glaciers are crying and your rent's due and somehow, you're still here. 😂❄️🏠❤️

Laugh because the universe hasn't kicked you off the map yet. 🗺️👊

Because laughter, in the face of cosmic absurdity, isn't apathy—it's rebellion. It's the middle finger to despair. 🖕😞

We're all just Sisyphus—rolling the boulder, cracking jokes, trying to make the apocalypse entertaining. And maybe that's the most human thing ever. 🪨😆🤷‍♀️

EMOTIONAL SCALE: 😭🤣☕💀🔥🌈
PHILOSOPHY GRADE: 100% Chaotic Clarity 🎓⚡

Ready to laugh in the face of the void? 😂🕳️ Follow the existential comedy on Twitter 🐦✨ @Allen_Fried Join the resistance at FriedReads.com ⚔️📚

This is for everyone who's ever cried, then laughed, then doomscrolled—all before breakfast. 🍳😭😂📱