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Let's Replace All History Classes With Brand Marketing—The Past Is for Losers Cover

Let's Replace All History Classes With Brand Marketing—The Past Is for Losers

A savage, unhinged manifesto demanding the immediate replacement of history education with corporate branding courses, because the past is boring and brand loyalty is eternal. Spoiler: Your childhood heroes were just marketing focus groups.

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Let’s Make All News Satire—Truth Is Too Dangerous Cover

Let’s Make All News Satire—Truth Is Too Dangerous

A deranged, side-splitting manifesto demanding that all journalism be parody, because facts are hazardous and reality is best left to comedians. Spoiler: The Onion was a prophecy, not a punchline.

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Trump’s ‘Elon Was Wearing Thin’ Breakup: A Love Story Cover

Trump’s ‘Elon Was Wearing Thin’ Breakup: A Love Story

A satirical obituary for the bromance of the century, tracing Trump and Musk’s toxic romance from mutual adoration to mutually assured destruction. Spoiler: The only thing more unstable than their egos is the stock market.

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Universal Basic Income Is a Trap—Let’s Make Everyone Fight for Survival Cover

Universal Basic Income Is a Trap—Let’s Make Everyone Fight for Survival

A scathing, unhinged manifesto arguing that UBI is a socialist plot to coddle the weak, and the only path to progress is a return to gladiatorial capitalism. Spoiler: Your comfort is the enemy of evolution

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Black People Should Thank Slave Traders (For Civilizing Them) Cover

Black People Should Thank Slave Traders (For Civilizing Them)

A blistering, satirical ‘appreciation’ of colonialism’s ‘gifts,’ arguing that slavery’s brutality was merely a harsh but necessary tutor for ‘backward’ societies. Spoiler: This article is a Trojan horse of shame.

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